Friday, 22 August 2008

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    News of the World
    By Queen
    Spread Your Wings
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    My Children, My Situation.

    It's been a tough few years.  You see, we have a blended family and no one is far from being an expert as yours truly.  I've struggled and continue to do so.  I thought I had it under control, but in reality I don't know jack about raising kids and sacrificing things for them. 

    Anyhow my oldest daughter "#1" is pretty much on her own all the time.  Being the oldest and my first baby she was never by herself at all.  She just chooses to do so these days.  I feel so out of touch with her.  Of course we have nothing in common and I often wonder what to do.  Everyone has a ton of advice, but in reality each situation is difficult.  I've never been a 17 year old girl so obviously I am out of touch.

    Next in line is my stepson "#2".  He's difficult for me to read.  I admit I have nothing in common with him and it's actually separated us apart.  I have a lot of expectations that I have for him that have missed and I totally hold it against him.  I know, I know.  I can't be too critical of a 16 year old boy but for some reason I am.  Maybe there's something I have hidden in my past that makes me resent him somewhat.  I don't know?  My wife and I have come to butt heads about this and honestly I don't understand what I am doing wrong.  I do love him a lot, I just can't relate.

    My middle daughter "#3".  Who is turning 12 in the next few weeks.  She still stays at my ex-wife's and I worry about her constantly.  She seems to be drifting away from our family and I don't know why.  I think I was too confident in the fact that my situation was better than where she was at. The constant competition for her against my ex-wife is totally ripping into our relationship.  I am saddened every time I talk to her and she has other plans and would prefer to stay at her house.  Understandable that she's 11 and all her friends are there.  She really has no peers in my town since she doesn't go to school or spend enough time with us.  Frightening. I do think about her all the time. 

    Finally is "#4".  Since she shares and lives with both her parents she's got a different outlook on life.  She's the baby of the family and she knows it.  At the age of 4 she's pretty much got everyone in the house wrapped around her fingers.  She's intelligent, beautiful, and hopefully one day follow my footsteps in the arts.

    That's a brief introduction of my children.  My life, my everything.  I am trying to do better to raise them in a godly home and trying to show them how to live life.  Not telling them, but showing them since I've found that leading by example is something they respond to over being taught, scolded, and threatened to.  My wife and I are working on things too since life at home has been nothing but strained as of late.  I value my family and my wife.  I did this for the long haul and it wouldn't be fair if I didn't sacrifice a few things for them.  I pray daily that I am guided into a good path that allows us all to live in harmony. 

    Looking back at my upbringing I had one dad and one mom and that's it.  They were the heads of the house and rulers of their domain.  There was no step anythings or half anythings.  We were a family and a family we stand to this day.  That's the example I take from my parents and that's the example I need to apply to my situation and our family.

Comments (2)

  • jediwa72

    I feel compelled to comment but I don't know for sure what to say.  My daddy was a preacher and my parents divorced due to him cheating when I was 11.  When I was 12 I lived with my mom but spent 90% of my time with my friends.  Continue instilling the value of family and God into their lives.  While my relationship with my father has dwindled due to his lack of desire to have one...this wouldn't be the case if he showed the slightest effort.  Just let your kids...all of them...know how much you love them and support them no matter what their ventures might be...you'll soon realize that by reinforcing these qualities and your love that life will fall into place.

  • smileyface151

    I also don't know why I feel the need to comment but I am... my mother was raped when she was 19 and she got pregnant with me, married my sisters father and had my sister... he began cheating drinking and eventually beating her... she divorced him (although her family told her to stay because divorce was a sin) she then met the man I call my daddy... I was 5 and now I'm 22 and he's never left my side... there were times when things were hard and any normal man would have left, but he stayed and I love him even more for it... He's hard on me but I know it's because he loves me... we don't use "step" of "half" to describe anyone in our family... we are a family and we love each other and are there for each other no matter how much we disagree... love is all you need as chiche` as that is it's true... your children (all of them) are lucky to have you... I wish you the best of luck.. ..xx..

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